Pepperoni Theory: Plants vs. Zombies

My theory for today is about the ever popular Plants vs Zombies. I know what you’re thinking, though. “But there IS nothing to base a theory ON!” Maybe for you, but what if Plants vs Zombies was more than that? What if Crazy Dave WASN’T crazy? What if the magic taco WAS magic?

My theory is that Dave and Zomboss were once best friends. Let me explain.

Before the whole PVZ incident, Dr. Zomboss was actually known as Dr. Boss and Crazy Dave was just Dave. Dave and Boss met in college where they later became lab partners and even friends. Among the many discoveries and inventions, Dave found a way to make animate plants and a potion that can resurrect the dead. When Dr. Boss mistook the potion for Kool Aid, though, he became a highly intelligent zombie now known as Dr. Zomboss. Dave made an antidote, but with two side effects. One, the antidote had to be made in a taco, and two, the person who ate the taco would be almost completely crazy.

Although Dave (now known as Crazy Dave) was crazy, he still had some sanity left to make an army of plants, which he gave to someone (let’s call him Rick). At first, Rick didn’t know what was going on, but when he planted the peashooter, he became aware of the situation. Dr. Zomboss knew Rick would be a threat, so he sent waves of zombies and even made a “Zombot”, but rick was too strong for Zomboss. The plants and zombies then called a temporary truce to make a music video.

If you guys want to have me make a theory on something else, let me know in the comments below.

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Choose 5 Adventures

Hey controller slices! I need your help with a choose 5 adventure.

I know what you’re thinking. “What’s a choose 5 adventure?” Well, a C5A, as you may call it, is a story set in a random location with 5 random objects. I then use that setting and five objects to make an awesome story.

So what do you say? Can you help me out?

Quite Quotable #1

“I’m Batman” -Batman

“NYANYANYA!” -Annoying Orange

“Umm…khakis” -Jake From State Farm

“If I were forced to sing those same songs for twenty years and I never got a bath, I’d be pretty irritable at night, too.” -Phone Guy

“Hump DAAAAAAY!” -Geico Camel

“PUT DISPENSER HERE!” -Heavy

“BECAUSE I’M CRAAAAAAAZY!” -Crazy Dave

Have any other quotes? Let me know in the comments below.

Great Ideas: Fantasy Football For Everyone

You know what would be a great idea? Fantasy football.

I know that fantasy football already exists, but someone could always improve it. For example, why not add batman? He’s swift, he has a lot of utilities, and, come one, he’s batman!

Anyone you would want to add to your fantasy football team? Let me know in the comments below.

To Kill a Rocking Bird

“To Kill a Rocking Bird” by Harper ACDC takes place in Hair-comb, Alabama and revolves around the Rolling Finches. The daughter, Scout, learns maturity as she faces the Ewelltles, the case of Bonjovi Robinson, and the ever mysterious Boo Simmons.

Poetry: Ode to Joe

I think that I shall never know

a fella quite as cool as joe.

He lives somewhere in Arkansas

and always, ALWAYS obeys the law.

He makes his juice, he makes his bed,

he makes his pizza, he makes his bed.

Is there anyone else I should know?

Inform me in the comments below.

What grinds my gears #1

You know what really grinds my gears? Movies that you have high expectations for but turn out to be garbage.

Take the Mario Bros. Movie for example. Sure, you expect to see a movie about how Mario saves the day, but what you get is a story focusing on Luigi. LUIGI! I mean, COME ON!!

Let’s also take a (very) quick look at Batman and Robin. Again, if you’re a DC universe fan, you have also been disappointed by this movie. I’m sure we can all agree that Mr. Freeze should NOT be played by someone that sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger (same goes for Jingle All The Way 3, scriptwriters).

Lastly, let’s go over Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. The combination of creepy and Johny Depp leave you speechless (and NOT in a good way). Seriously, who puts a MOAT OF BLOOD in a children’s movie?

If I’ve missed any of your least favorite movies, let me know in the comments below. Until then, game on!